Letter of Resignation

To the management

I hear-by submit my resignation as chief of operations at Hotel O'Reilly as and from today. Whilst it has been a very enjoyable experience and I've met loads of distant relatives that I didn't even know existed, I feel that my skills and experience are not being appreciated nor am I being remunerated adequately for something that has become a full time job.
Not only do I provide full board 5 star accommodation with private pool, I also provide tours of the region, airport pick ups and drop offs, entertainment every evening, the best of wines and food. Hospital and doctor visits, translating services, help and assistance with travelling issues, free land lines to Ireland, internet access, tea, coffee, cold drinks, rosé, ice creams on tap, full linen service, no fees for breakages of anything in the house including electrical and the odd fire or two.
The job has become 24/7 and for this amazing service, I receive the sum total of nothing.
Running a gite would be a piece of cake!

I wish the candidate good luck in his new role. If he has any queries at all, please feel free to contact me.. I  shall be found pool side, feet up, with a good book and an ice cold perrier.

Yours Sincerely
Karen O'Reilly

A Thank You Card

                                                                                                 Getrealfrance
                                                                                                 13 rue paul valery
                                                                                                 Cabestany 66330
                                                                                                 France
                                                                                                 July 15 2012


Once upon a time there was a little 8 year old happy go lucky girl living in Ireland with her big sister and her parents. One day she woke up with the weirdest symptoms; she was dizzy, she couldn't stand up and couldn't keep any food down.
The little slip of a girleen was brought to the doctor who scratched his head and sent her to hospital for tests. There she stayed under the watchful and worried vigil of her parents as she developed some more strange symptoms ; pins and needles all over, problems with her sight, unwillingness to be touched, strange lumps. She was poked and probed and prodded and then sent to the Cork Regional Hospital, a specialist hospital for children. Still, the doctors could not pin point her illness and after nearly a month and a battery of tests covering every possible illness, the little girl was brought home by her parents as there was nothing the doctors could do for her.
Her parents watched their little girl lose weight and slump into a semi vegetable state for a few more days. One day their Aunty came to visit. She had a blessed petal from Medjugorje where the Virgin Mary was supposed to have appeared to some children. She pressed the parents to give the rose petal to the child and grasping at straws, they forced the little girl to eat the petal.
The next day, the little girl sat up in bed, looked for a peanut butter sandwich and asked if she could go back to school. It was a miracle!
The little girl was my baby sister and the Aunt was my Great Aunty Betty.

Thank you Aunty Betty

Love,
Karen.

Letter to My Son

                                                                                                 Getrealfrance
                                                                                                 13 rue paul valery
                                                                                                 Cabestany 66330
                                                                                                 France
                                                                                                 July 14 2012
Dylan Harrington
13 rue paul valery
Cabestany 66330
France


Dearest Dylan
How are you today my little man? Haven't we had the most brilliant fun with all our Irish cousins this week? Cousins really are the best bananas, aren't they?
You are getting to be so big and strong - the fastest boy in the "cour" in school, you never stop running and climbing and getting into all kinds of scrapes.
You were the opposite to your sister, arriving feet first 5 years ago , 3 weeks late, a buster of a baby and you had all the nurses in tears as you were the biggest breach baby to be born naturally in the clinic. We were so happy to see you and your Daddy delighted in singing the hokey pokey for weeks afterwards much to my squirming embarrassment " He put his left leg out and his left leg in ...."
Every day is fun with you Dylan , an Aries like your Granny Dee, you live life to the max, squeezing the last drop of craic out of every minute.
Mammy and Daddy love every single little thing about you Dylan - you are the coolest 5 year old in town.

Lots of Love and Hugs
Mammy
xxxxxxxxx

Letter to My Daughter

                                                                                                 Getrealfrance
                                                                                                 13 rue paul valery
                                                                                                 Cabestany 66330
                                                                                                 France
                                                                                                 July 10 2012
Alannah Harrington
13 rue paul valery
Cabestany 66330
France


Hi Alannah,
How are you today? Hope you are having a great summer with all your Irish cousins. I, for one, am loving having them all around and having the craic with them.
I can't beleive you are 7 years old already and are turning into such a beautiful little girl. Where did those 7 years go to? I can remember the day you were born like it was yesterday - it was the happiest day of my life as well as the day your baby brother was born.
You surprised us all by coming 4 weeks early and you were so petite, it took the whole extended family to change your nappy, we were so stressed out! You were the best little baby, hardly ever crying and as quiet as a tiny mouse. You captured our hearts completely.
You are turning into a lovely little girl and Mammy and Daddy are very proud of you. I know it isn't easy sometimes being a little bit different in school as you are the only Irish girl but you are doing brilliantly. Your French is nearly better than mine at this stage!!
Looking forward to having lots of fun over the holidays!
Lots of Love and Hugs,
Mammy 
xxxxxxxx

Letter to Myself

                                                                                                 Getrealfrance
                                                                                                 13 rue paul valery
                                                                                                 Cabestany 66330
                                                                                                 France
                                                                                                 July 9 2012
Karen,

Get. Off. The. Fence.

Ya Big Eegit.

Postcard to Jerry

Jerry has left the building....

Letter to the French President

                                                                                                 Getrealfrance
                                                                                                 13 rue paul valery
                                                                                                 Cabestany 66330
                                                                                                 France
                                                                                                 July 6 2012
François Hollande
Élysée Palace
55 rue du faubourg Saint-Honoré
75008 Paris, France

Dear Monsieur Le Président
This is an interesting experiment on socialism. Have a read and let me know what you think...
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. 
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism ". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
It could not be any simpler than that.The professor concluded :

• 1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
• 2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
• 3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
• 4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!
• 5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Sincerely,
Karen O'Reilly
(Tax paying resident of France)
PS. I was not sure which address to send this letter to ??

• Élysée Palace in Paris or
• Fort de Brégançon, in southeastern France or
• the Hôtel de Marigny; standing next to the Élysée Palace, or 
• the Château de Rambouillet or
• the Domaine National de Marly or
• the Domaine de Souzy-la-Briche 

Letter to my best friend

                                                                                                 Getrealfrance
                                                                                                 13 rue paul valery
                                                                                                 Cabestany 66330
                                                                                                 France
                                                                                                 July 5 2012
Jillian Murphy
The middle of nowhere on the outskirts of Limerick(WTF?)
Ireland

Hi Jill

The other day I saw two girls walking through town holding on to each other, crying with laughter. Hysterically doubled over in giggles, they were barely able to walk.
I had that primal urge course through my body, you know the one we used to have before we had children and spied a new born baby ( without the tingling boobs!) , an urge to be that teenager again with you , walking home from school, wetting ourselves over nothing, dancing to George Micheal and laughing our heads off.
Let's get together soon for a giggle

Love K xx
PS. Do 41 year olds still have 'best friends'?

Letter to My Father

                                                                                                 Getrealfrance
                                                                                                 13 rue paul valery
                                                                                                 Cabestany 66330
                                                                                                 France
                                                                                                 July 4 2012
Dad
Ireland

Hi Dad


I hear the weather is crap there in Ireland. This morning it is 25 degrees here in the shade.
Why don't you come and visit while you are still relatively young, fit and healthy? The kids are still at that age where they love you unconditionally ... and they do.
You won't regret it.
See you soon,
Karen.

Letter to MIKA

                                                                                                 Getrealfrance
                                                                                                 13 rue paul valery
                                                                                                 Cabestany 66330
                                                                                                 France
                                                                                                 July 3 2012


MIKA
c/o Machine Management
4th Floor Studio 10
16 Scrutton Street London,
EC2A


Hi Mika


You are coming to play here in Argeles Sur Mer in the South of France next weekend  ( but you probably already knew that, in fairness!). My sister and I are big fans and are coming to see you play live on the grounds of Chateau Valmy on Saturday night.


If you would like to come to our house for a barbeque or for us to take you to a good restaurant and/or to show you some fab hot spots in this beautiful adopted region of ours, we'd be only delighted.
It's a stunning part of the world and there are loads of things which you really should not miss! 


If we don't hear from you , break a leg on Saturday night. We'll be the two Irish girls wearing flowers in our hair and dancing our little cotton socks off!


All the best,


Kaz and Suz O'Reilly

Letter to Santa

                                                                                                 Getrealfrance
                                                                                                 13 rue paul valery
                                                                                                 Cabestany 66330
                                                                                                  France
                                                                                                  July 2 2012

Santa Claus/Père Noel
North Pole

Dear Santa

Just a quick note to say thanks for all the pressies for the kids last year, you were very generous, as usual! However, you were slightly high-jacked as Granny had tied loads of Irish chocolates to our Christmas tree. When Alannah and Dylan ( 6 and 4 at the time) came down the stairs and saw their two brand new shiny bikes, they were thrilled. However, the bikes took a definite back seat then once they spotted the sweeties and there was fierce excitement over the flipping bon-bons. You just can't win, eh Santa?

Anyway, we have a slight problem here in France. Alannah, who has just turned 7, asked her maitresse ( school teacher) if papa noel really existed. The Dear Maitresse responded in the negative. Kids in France appear to only believe in you until they are about 7 anyway but I was hoping to get a few magical years out of them yet.

I'm so cross with the teacher, how flippin' dare she? What to do? Any advice would be appreciated!

Hope it's not too cold for you up there, it's pretty hot where we are now!

All the best and thanks again,

Mrs Getrealfrance