French Kiss or Irish Hug?

Image from www.spreadshirt.com

The rhythm of life is so different here in Ireland than in France and our body clocks are just about getting used to the new timetables as we potter along in our new life in Clonakilty.
For one thing, we all miss "La Cantine" , that wonderful French luxury of a 4 course delicious 2 hour lunch at school. These days, Irish kids are given 20 minutes to wolf down their sambos and get out into the yard to play. The lunch box used to be a fairly simple affair in my day, now, the list of forbidden foods is the length of your arm :

• Crisps
• Chocolate or anything containing chocolate
• Fizzy drinks or fruit drinks
• Cereal bars
• Biscuits
• Nuts and anything containing nuts
• Sweets or anything sweet etc etc

While I agree totally with the healthy eating concept, lunch box filling has become rather a challenge ( ideas welcome)
The kids finish school at 2pm and 3pm ( how handy is that - NOT!) For my two who are used to finishing at 5pm in France and then launching into homework, as far as they are concerned, they have a half day every day! Whoopeee! That 's a lot of hours to entertain them though! After school activities take place every evening, not just on Wednesdays ( their day off school en France)
For us adults living in a small town, social activities don't usually start until about 9pm or later! Dancing classes, toastmasters, music sessions, they all start after 9pm. In France, in sleepy suburbia, the shutters would be coming down and people bunkering down for the night. If you are going to the pub, you might start thinking about going out around 10pm or later. Huh? but that's way past our bedtime! I recently joined a running club and we start training at 8pm. As we finish at 9pm, there are others just starting!!
Setting a fire and drying clothes in front of it and watching the weather like a hawk for signs of rain when the clothes are out .. these are things I haven't done in over 18 years!
I still go to kiss people on each cheek when I meet them, resulting in usually head butting the recipient - It feels funny not to physically greet people you haven't seen in a few days ; a "howzitgoan?" will do. In place of the sterile French air kissing though, what you do have is the Irish hug. At a family gathering recently, it was a veritable hugathon as I got lost in Aunties' perfumed bosoms and long lost cousins' embraces.
French kissing 'aint all it's cracked up to be anyway ;-)

Buying shoes in Ireland

When you move to a new country or indeed back to your home country after being a period of 16 years away as we did, you have certain expectations.
In our case, we thought that the people in Ireland, our Mother land, would be friendlier, that bureaucracy would be easier, that socially,we would feel more at home and that we would live a more naturally rounded life with all that is going on in Clonakilty, our adopted new town.
For the most part , that has been true and we are lapping up all Ireland has to offer and every time we leave the house, we are blown away by the friendliness and helpfulness of everybody.
We do realise that nowhere is perfect ( Mr GetrealFrance's van was recently broken into while parked in Dublin with many of his tools swiped ), but for now , for us, it is ticking all our boxes.
I could give you hundreds of examples since I've been home of the generosity of the Irish spirit, that, quite frankly, I have never encountered anywhere else...
Take last week when I went shopping with my son for shoes in Clonakilty. We popped into the local shoe shop and tried on a few pairs that were not satisfactory ( Not fast enough Mummy!) for our little tearaway. With all the time in the world, the shop owner patiently played with Dylan, chatted to me and finally found the perfect pair of shoes for my budding Usain Bolt.
As the shoes had just arrived in that day, the guy had no invoice for them and therefore was unable to give us a price
"Sure just take the shoes away there girleen and drop in any day to pay me" says he
Flabbergasted, I offered to pay him a deposit, leave some kind of a down payment but he was having none of it. My word was good.
"I trust you. Take the shoes and call in any day next week and I'll have a price for you"
Now, that's what I call retail therapy!
Kevin O'Regans Shoes
8 Pearce Street,
Clonakilty
(no affiliation!)
Which reminds me, I must go in and pay for them!!!!!

School's cool!

Uniforms! Halleluiah!

Well, we've been back in Ireland for over 6 weeks now after living in France for 11 years. How are you settling in, people keep asking us and what do you miss about France?
We're settling in as if we never left the place, except for now, we have an appreciation for Ireland that we never would have had before, warts and all, we are loving all that this fair isle has to offer.
While I am very aware that we are in the honeymoon period and everything is still new and shiny (yet all so familiar and comfortable ... like finding an old pair of comfy faded jeans at the back of your wardrobe that still fit after 11 years), It feels real and it feels like home.
The welcome we have received in the town we have chosen has been extraordinary and the schools are second to none. Our main concern moving here was that the children would fit in ok in their new schools considering all their education had been in French up to this point. Aged 6 and 8, we felt the French education system was too rigid and strict with no room for personal development, art or expressing oneself.
The amount of stuff on in their new schools here would make you dizzy ; there is an orchestra, orienteering, surfing, kayaking, drama, swimming, chess, dancing, singing, gardening, every kind of a sport you can imagine as well as gentlemanly awards and deportment classes.
The mission statement of the school states, among other things that :
"Every pupil is encouraged to achieve his full potential – socially, personally and intellectually – in a happy, secure learning environment.
The discipline in our school encourages and fosters respect and self-esteem among the pupils.
We endeavour to develop supportive and open communication among pupils, teachers, parents, Board of Management and the community." 
Music to our ears - the children seem to be extremely happy and skip into school every day. Long may it continue.......10/10 for the schools in Ireland so far...W

I'm Sorry, Irish style

Well, we're back in Ireland 6 weeks now and are love love lovin' it. This is partly helped by the fact that the weather has been glorious and also that we have probably picked the friendliest, liveliest and coolest town in Ireland, ie Clonakilty.
More anon, once I get a chance...
One little thing I had never really noticed before is that Irish people say sorry all the time. We are constantly apologising, like the Japanese bowing to everyone they meet , we say sorry at every encounter. The barman will say sorry when they run out of the guinness, people will assume responsibility for the weather and apologise for it, sorry for your troubles, sorry for having loads of groceries at the cashier in front of you, sorry for walking faster than you and passing you on the street, sorry for eating my bag of taytos too loudly, sorry sorry sorry. What are we all so sorry about? And if we're not saying sorry, we're saying thanks. Thanks a million, thanks thanks thanks.
No, Thank You!
Love it!

Ardal O'Hanlon (AKA Dougle) talks about Irish people saying sorry :

Get Real West Cork. I'm lovin' it

Our new local - Clonakilty

This is Ireland

 

 

De Barras, famous music pub in Clonakilty

Our fave beach so far - Simon's Cove, view from smugglers cave

Welcome Home pressie. Wild Atlantic salmon

Present from the neighbours

The pull of Ireland

Guest post :

Brigitte from Brittany has this to say about our decision to move back to Ireland .....

I'm half-Irish/half-French and we moved to France in June 1996 with our three children for a new life in Brittany (where I was born). It was really "taking a blind leap" in those days, and even more difficult without internet to help you in those days.

Just like you, we had sold our house in Co Dublin and there was no going back. Even though I myself am half-French, it was a very difficult time settling in France, even though I had the advantage of having lived there up to the age of 17.  But still, the bureaucracy drove us crazy ("Vous avez un dossier"?). Dossier dossier, the favourite word of the French, right? You bring your car to the garage : "dossier". You go to buy a pair of glasses : "dossier". I'm sure you'll agree with me.

But there's always the pull of Ireland. There's no place like Ireland.  Landing at Dublin airport, or seeing the coast approach if you're on the ferry, how can one describe those emotions?! Ireland is not only a country, it's a person, that's the way I feel. I'd never feel that for France, even though my father was French and I was born there. 

So I totally understand your decision to move back to Ireland and well done on this hard decision which was not easy to take, I'm sure. You will appreciate Ireland all the more now, after your life in France. You will probably regret social security, and the wine  at 2.49€ (!), and the sun, but that's all, I'd say.  Your children will be happier in the Irish school system, which I now realise is not as stressful as the French system. Am I glad that my youngest has finished school, having just got her Bac, and that we don't have any more school-going children! The ongoing stress of the school marks, of the tests, the huge emphasis on maths, the long school days, the lack of personal development skills such as drama, sports, in schools, all that was wearying and I only realised that after moving to France.  Although I've just mentioned the negative aspects of the education system, it has to be said that we were able to put our children in very good schools for next to nothing, compared to the horrendous prices in Dublin, and they have been able to have good university education for also next to nothing!

Having said all that, we don't regret having moved to France (free education even up to third level, good health care), although we miss our family and friends in Ireland and going back on a visit is a tonic and the best medicine!

Having only now discovered your blog, I will read the other posts in it and wish you all the best in your move back. In your case, both of you are Irish, so I understand the pull back to Ireland. Your children are just at the right age for that decision. Our own children in 1996 when we moved to France were 7, 5 and 1, and we knew then, it was "now or never".  

All the very best, I hope you continue your blog, and also "bonne rentrée" in Ireland in September for your children!

Coming Home Song

Some of you may be old enough to remember this classic ESB ad that was released at Christmas time in 1988.
Kind of sums up my feelings at the moment.
I've come home. And it feels good.

Going away song

Arrived to a dinner party to find this bunch of lunatics.... my going away song from France. What a great bunch of girls! 
Made it all that harder to leave!!!
Bring on the trip to Ireland!!!!

French Foodie in Dublin

French native Ketty Elisabeth tells us about her love affair with Ireland in her guest blog post

Dublin's fair city

Ireland was supposed to be a 6 to 12 months period of my life. However, after just 4 weeks I met my fiancé and never left.

I fell in love with the country and especially Irish people. They’re laid-back, easy-going, chatty and know how to have fun. It was such a breath of fresh air moving from Paris to Dublin and life was much easier all of a sudden: no smelly metro, no grumpy people and no nightmare bureaucracy. I was amazed at how easy it was to rent a flat, set up a PPS number and do other administrative things that are such a hassle in France. I was totally living the Celtic Tiger dream back in 2004!

I made many expat friends in my first few years in Ireland, unlike me they didn’t have Irish partners and decided to leave, it was very difficult for me at this stage. They couldn’t stand the weather, the drinking culture, the food, the expensive cost of living or they just didn’t want to be foreigners anymore. Locals have their childhood friends, do stuff with them after work or go home to their families at the weekends which make it difficult to make real friends sometimes.

Now it’s different and easier as I get older. I don’t know people who leave every week anymore and I have friends with Irish other halves who I’m sure won’t leave the country. Being engaged to an Irish man certainly helps me feel more at home and more integrated. I’ve now made Ireland my home, feel I belong here and I’m never homesick. I don’t mind if the weather isn’t great and I miss Ireland when I’m away. I feel a connection to this little island that I don’t have with France anymore. Somehow I’m always reminded I’m not from here but I have to get on with it. People ask me the same questions; ‘Do you like it here?’ or ‘Do you go home often?’, I often get ‘Welcome to Ireland’ from the garda at Dublin passport control or people ask me if I’m on holiday. I wonder if I’ll still get this in 15 years’ time or when I’ll have my little Irish kids with me.

France lacks of craic. People complain a lot, seem unhappy and don’t seem to enjoy the little things in life. I don’t miss the use of the ‘vous’, people giving out about the heat, French men who chat you up in a vulgar way, skinny women who just eat salads, people analysing the way you dress, the French management style and so on. Sometimes I think about the food and the healthcare with nostalgia but that’s about it. Of course I miss my family and friends but not to the point where I’d want to move back.

I think you’re dead right to be back in Ireland. The rainbows, the atmosphere of the pubs, the Irish wit, the work mentality, the beautiful landscapes and your family are only a few of the reasons why you should be happy to return. I still wonder how you managed to cope with the French for so long.

I wish you the best of luck and a very happy life in Ireland!

French Foodie in Dublin, Ketty, blogs here on www.frenchfoodieindublin.com

She has also just set up her French Foodie tours in Dublin which I am looking forward to trying out when up in the big smoke. You can book a tour here

Taking the leap - moving back to Ireland

Article on the Irish Times today

Au revoir France
They say moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do, after death and divorce. We made the decision early this year to leave our beloved France with our two children and head back “home” to Ireland, a country where we haven’t actually lived in for over 16 years.
The decision was a difficult one as France has been good to us and we have no regrets. Where we are living is probably one of the most beautiful places in Europe, with the Med and the mountains within spitting distance.
Yet, at the end of the day, it’s just not home. We have a close network of expat friends whom we get on very well with, but most will eventually leave here. We are constantly saying goodbye to good friends. We swear we will stay in contact, but rarely do.
Our French friends are equally lovely, but they never really let you in. We’ve had hundreds of nights out with them, perfectly staged dinner parties with exquisite food and wines to match, but at the end of the evening we’d often realise we had had little craic.
Our decision to leave was made in the depths of a very bad French winter. Personally and professionally we both felt held back and unfulfilled. Trying to run a business here in France is like beating your head against a brick wall while the French bureaucrats watch, mocking and deriding you. It really is that bad.
You realise pretty quickly that France only plays lip service to Europe and in reality does it’s own thing which reeks of protectionism and cronyism. On one occasion as we tried to get a business off the ground, our Irish MEP, Brian Crowley, took our case to the Minister of Justice because he felt we were being discriminated against as they were refusing to recognise my accountancy qualifications. France’s answer to the problem was to change the law, so I had to have a French baccalaureat (equivalent of Leaving Cert) to work in my chosen field.
All that aside, life in France has been mostly good and we have been extremely happy here. Now, as the mercury begins to rise, the doubts about our decision, in direct correlation, are too. I’ve had sleepless nights wondering are we doing the right thing for the children, now aged six and eight, who are now completely and naturally bilingual. Will they fit into the Irish culture? How will they cope with the drinking culture in Ireland when they reach their teenage years, and will my daughter want to start dressing like a pop star once she hits Irish shores? Will we be able to handle the terrible weather?
Our beautiful house with it’s happy memories of all the people who have visited us and the fun we have had, has gone under the hammer and we must leave in a couple of days.
We will miss the sunshine, the wine, the food, and our circle of lovely friends, but for all that, Ireland still beckons. It takes time living away from Ireland to fully appreciate how warm, lovely, helpful and genuine Irish people are. “There are plenty of assholes in Ireland too,” my father warned me when I broke the news of our return, and we know that we’re not going to have 320 days of sunshine. Yet, we want our children to be Irish, to have that Irish sense of humour, to have a healthy working mentality and to be surrounded by our extended family. We want to be there for the good times and the bad. In a morbid way, I want to be there for funerals, for sicknesses and the tough times as well as the celebrations and the good times.
It’s au revoir France for now. Yikes!