All The Lonely People, where do they all belong?

This weekend was the Fete des Quartiers in Cabestany and a great night was had by all on Saturday. The town hall provides the aperitif, the tables and chairs and some entertainment. The neighbours all bring a plate and of course some wine and everybody has a very enjoyable night under the stars with the kids running riot on their bikes with giddy excitement rejoicing in their nocturnal freedom 

These are all our neighbours from the cul de sac ( a word which the French do not use, by the way, it's an impasse here), neighbours, some of them we haven't even clapped eyes on since last year's fête. Chatting to a daughter in law of one of the neighbours, she enthused about the soirée , saying she had been looking forward to it for months. Others expressed the same sentiments. She lives in a caserne gendarmerie in Perpignan with hundreds of other families. I asked her was it like at big family there, did they get together often with their friends? 

"No, everyone keeps to themselves, we have been there for five years and we have never been invited to another persons house"

"Oh, but you are from Perpignan, you must know loads of people?" I prompted

"No, I don't really have any friends here" she said " I've one girlfriend in Prades but we only see each other about once a year.

This young lovely vibrant lady has no friends to speak of. How sad ..

Yet this is pretty indicative of where we live in Catalan country - you have your family, a few close friends (maybe)and that's it. After 11 years here , we have many acquaintances and they are all lovely people, but you are only really ever scratching the surface with them, going through the polite motions and never really getting to know them at all.

It's interesting to note that nearly all of our French friends here are not locals, but French from other parts of the country. It does seem that the further South you go in France, the cooler the people are. 

In the Canicule ( heatwave) of 2003, an estimated 15,000 people died in France due to heat related stress. The "oubliés de la canicule" are they are known were 41 men and 45 women who died in the canicule and were never claimed. 
From L'Express:

ls s'appelaient Alfred, Roger, Moïse ou Georgette, Eugénie, Reine. Ils étaient légionnaires, rentiers, fonctionnaires des Postes, caviste à la Coupole. Elles avaient été coiffeuses, vendeuses sur les marchés, femmes au foyer. Tous sont morts en quelques jours, dans la chaleur étouffante d'un été meurtrier. On les a surnommés les "oubliés de la canicule". Pour la seule ville de Paris, ils étaient 86 hommes et femmes qu'aucune famille, aucun proche n'a réclamés en cette fin d'été. Aujourd'hui, ils reposent pour la plupart sous les tombes anonymes de la 58e division du cimetière de Thiais (Val-de-Marne). 

Will it be different in Ireland? On verra....

Moving Back to Ireland

"You're doing what?" " You must be out of your fecking mind!" "I think you're very brave" ( sister in law) " You won't last pissing time" "Can I take your temperature?" These are the kind of reactions I'm getting when I tell people that we are leaving the Sunny South of France and moving back to the less sunnier climes of our native Ireland.

Summer Fashion - Ireland

We've spent 11 very happy years in our adopted country after falling in love with it on a ski trip in early 2002. We've lived our 30's here in France, settled down, had the babies, bought the house in suburbia, made a lovely circle of French and expat friends and now we've decided to head north, back to the bosom of the family and to an Ireland where we haven't lived in for over 15 years. Yep, I know ... and as the weather brightens up here, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe they are right, are we stark raving mad after all?
Then, I step outside of my bubble and I know I've made the right decision. The French are just not like us. They don't get us and we don't get them. I just can't see us growing old here, I want our children to be Irish and I want to feel like a part of the fabric of society.
Englishman, David Mitchell , author of Cloud Atlas, has upped sticks and relocated to Clonakilty in Ireland, where we are heading. He totally resonated with me in a recent article in the Irish Examiner
"At this stage in life, you need a good environment in which to bring up your children. After a while you need to be able to communicate with other parents at school, the people around you. It sounds simple and obvious and straightforward but in many many tracts of the world, it's not normal, it's not normal to be reasonably friendly to strangers."
He says "Why would anyone not want to live in West Cork?"
Look, I know that nowhere is perfect and we might be running back to somewhere sunny and warm after 5 minutes of life in the old sod, but it's now or never with the children , aged 6 and 8 , so here we go.
The house is sold, the one way tickets have been bought and the countdown is on.
57 days to go in France........ YIKES!!!!!!

La Jonquera - Sex, Shopping and Sun

Just over the border here into Spain lies La Jonquera , a shabby run down border town whose main claim to fame until recently was it's roaring sex trade.
Just last month on our local paper, L'independent , it was noted that a roundabout in La Jonquera could make up to 20,000euros a day. It's quite an affront ( literally) to see the girls hanging out by the roundabouts, at the side of the road or in the truckers' car parks. They are there from noon onwards, under their parasols, with their bottles of water and chatting chewing gum style with their scantily clad peers. Even though prostitution is legal in France, it is quite 'de rigeur' for French young fellas to pop over the border for a bit of hows your Father. Brothels, par contre, are illegal in France but not so in Spain and when The Paradise brothel opened in 2010 in La Jonquera ,with over 90 rooms, word spread like syphilis as bus loads of young French men made their way over the border.
The new mayor of La Jonquera, Sonia Martínez Juli has taken the problem to hand and is trying to close down the brothel which is seriously damaging the image of the town.
A town which has just opened a massive shopping outlet centre with over 12000 m² of retail therapy catering for all tastes. It's the biggest border outlet centre in Europe and, with the tramontane gusting a hooley this afternoon, continuing our longest winter ever in the South of France, I popped down for a look. It's only a half an hour from my house and judging by the car park which was 80% full of French cars, I wasn't the only sucker of the day.
It's your typical outlet centre, if you are into labels and designer gear, there are great bargains to be had on mostly last seasons fashion. One brilliant addition though are hundreds of comfy sofas throughout the mall, a great idea for the bored man who just wants to play on his phone...
This may be the final nail in the coffin for Perpignan though, who is really struggling in 'la crise'. Le "Gran Jonquera Outlet" is aiming for the market of 1.5 million inhabitants living between Montpellier to Figueras. 50million euros has been pumped into the shopping centre with stores such as Guess, Benetton, Nike, Jack and Jones, Desigual, to name but a few, lining up to take your hard earned cash. Along with the news that Figeures will be open on Sundays, the tumbleweed will continue to blow down the streets of Perpignan and all the shops that are closing down one by one...
To get to Gran Jonquera Outlet and Shopping Centre, take exit #2 after leaving France - it's well sign posted from there. The supermarket ( with an excellent butchers that made it worth my trip) is open from 07h30 to 23h00. It was a bit manic there today, a Saturday, but I reckon it would be worth a return trip mid week when things are quieter....

Fête des Mamans

A love note from my daughter. Happy Mothers Day all you Yummy Mummies xxxx

Karen, ma maman chérie

Aujourd'hui c'est le grand jour, c'est la fête des mères

Regarde toi dans le mirroir, tu es la plus belle

Et la plus gentille

N'oublie jamais que je t'aime

Culture in France

While Daft Punk heads the top of the ITune charts in nearly every western country with what is probably the coolest tune of the decade, France has " Quand il pète il trou son slip " ( When he farts, he blows a hole in his underpants ) by Sébastian Patrick

See article and listen to the catchy song here :

http://lelitoulalu.blogs.lindependant.com/archive/2013/05/18/chroniques-itunes-fait-peter-les-ventes.html

Go Figure?

Rendons le Coeur De Ville à nos clients - Perpignan

"Give back the heart of Perpignan to our clients." This is a little bug bear of mine for the past few years as I've watched my adopted town being mismanaged to death and strangled by the short shortsightedness of the local government.
When I moved here 11 years ago, Perpignan was a thriving town. It still is a beautiful town with La Basse, the canal running through it, the Castillet proudly guarding it's pedestrianised quarter and a quaint and pretty centre full of character and history.
Little by little, the local power dudes are sucking the life out of this lovely town.

• Parking is impossible and they have more than doubled pay for parking areas
• Rates are exorbitant
• Festivals are being moved away from the town centre
• Planning permission has been given to massive soul-less malls on the outskirts of the town ( free parking etc)
• Planning permission has been given for blocks and blocks of ugly modern apartments in the surrounding towns and villages
• One way systems have been put in place that have killed off small businesses
• Police are never to be seen en ville

And there's more....
So, some of the local businesses have come together and created this association  "Rendons le Coeur de Ville à nos clients" ( Ok, not very catchy , but they're French, remember). I support them wholeheartedly in their efforts to revitalise the centre and to breathe life back in to this ville that I have grown to love so much.
Like their page here on FaceBook
Vive Perpignan!!!!!

Spot the most obese French name you will ever see

Faking it in France

Karen Bates, shares not only my name but also the 11 year itch French syndrome. She moved to France in early 2002 ( same as moi!) and just left recently. I spoke to her about her time in France and the resulting memoir/book she has self published since.

When did you move to France?

We had been looking for holiday homes  in France for a while and  having fallen in love with Normandy, and with my brother living in France decided to take the plunge and move to France in early 2002.

What did you do in France?

We were in France for almost eleven years.  Originally we hoped to make a living renting out our cottage, but when the income didn't materialise my husband and I visited the Chambre de Métiers and he registered as an Artisan, and we set up a carpentry business.

Did you fit in/ Did you feel welcome in France?

You say in your post it was a love affair with France for you and I agree, it was for us too! 

We were on honeymoon for the first few years and loved everything about it!  We entered each new experience with excitement at learning something new.  We took French lessons with Greta at the local college and our French language skills improved.  We made some wonderful friends both English and French, German Finish and Dutch.  Our neighbours welcomed us and we tried very hard to fit in. 

What made you decide to leave?

 We decided to leave as my son after 10 years announced he didn't want to go to university in France, out of the blue one day he informed us he wanted to return to the UK.  My husband who had not wanted to move to Normandy in the first place, being too cold and rural for him, turned round and said he too didn't want to stay.  The problem was my husband who had only ever agreed to a ten year plan wanted to move to Greece!

I simply wanted to be near my family, my daughter Sarah had graduated from University and was living and working in London, my parents were getting older and living in Leicestershire, suddenly I realised it would be me my husband and the dog rattling around in a five bedroomed farmhouse.  I couldn't imagine only seeing my children and parents only a couple of times a year and I wanted to travel too. Not just backwards and forwards over the channel.  

What do you miss about France?

France is a beautiful country and I will be eternally grateful to our neighbours and friends who helped us to embrace it.  The food is the main thing I miss! I have some wonderful memories but I wont miss being hard up, cold, lonely and worried that the RSI would take away our home with one of their extortionate inaccurate demands for social payments. The downsides were simply starting to out way the benefits.  

What is your book about?

My book is about the dark side of living in a foreign country when the penny drops and you realise you will never fit in, no matter how hard you try. The pain of making good friends and having to say goodbye as they return to the UK, the loneliness of rural life, not being able to find work, being broke, and trying to keep sane whilst dealing with French bureaucracy. It is however a memoir of my life and so my family and England feature a great deal, it is not a book all about France. A lot of the time I am trying to escape my desolation by reminiscing about my life and what I have left behind. The book became my therapy and got me through a very tough period.

  

Faking it in France is the first book I have written but my second book, due out later this year, Making out in France is all about embracing France and learning to make the best of a bad situation. It is entirely based in Normandy and deals with the realities of being a foreigner and trying to fit in.  Like the first book this leads to some hilarious and comic situations and also some poignant moments too, with a surprising twist at the end.

You can buy Karen's book ( which I have yet to read) here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Faking-It-In-France-ebook/dp/B008EENUJM/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1365455788&sr=8-1

The 11 Year itch

It's not me, it's you

Latest statistics show that most couples who divorce do so after 11 years of being together. It's no longer tagged the 7 year itch but now it's the 11 year itch; time to get out of that relationship that has run it's course and just does not light that fire any longer.
So France and I are getting divorced.
11 years ago , I arrived in France with a smidgeen of French, a backpack full of dreams and a notion that I might stay for a couple of years. I fell headlong in love with the most beautiful region in France, that is the Pyrenees Orientales, and everyday I am still blown away by the beauty of the place.
We've had 11 happy years of long lazy summers, mild winters, 2 healthy and happy children, years of meeting wonderful and interesting people, entertaining visitors chez nous, enjoying everything France has to offer and literally having the Life of O'Reilly.
So why oh why I hear you say are you leaving all that behind you and heading to the sodden ole island that is Ireland. I hear the incredulity in your voices, I see the raised eyebrows and I know that you think I've lost it.  The house is sold, the packing must begin and we are on our way back to live in a country where we haven't lived in for over 16 years.
Are we MAD?
While my marriage with France is over, I think we will get on better as sometime lovers and I look forward to visiting France and getting my fill of all the things I love about this great country - this stunning region, the wines and the food, the weather , the med and the mountains and all of France's little quirky idiosyncrasies that make her the most seductive country in the world.
C´est rien qu´un au revoir, tu sais
Bientôt je reviendrai
Je reviendrai pour te revoir
Et pour te retrouver
4 months now to the big move....

Calm after the storm

The Pyrenees Orientales was on alert rouge here for a couple of days this week. When it rains, it pours here in the Deep South!

We're on the med here, practically a lake for all intents and purposes and we rarely see waves. The surfers drop everything once they see a ripple in the water and dash headfirst into the big pond.

So when we get waves like this in Collioure .. it's making hay time!

Collioure - surfin dude

Things we rarely see in Perpignan!

Our road is blocked. One poor soul got washed away in the deluge during the week

In Canet, all kinds of sealife were hurtled onto the sand by the crashing waves. This seagull got lucky with a sea snake

Le lendemain. Blue skies are restored. Snow is forecast for Tuesday though! The world has gone mad!

Canet Classic Cars

The first Sunday of every month, vintage car lovers and owners gather in the car park of Casino Hypermarket in Canet Plage to strut their stuff with their fabulous vintage cars..
We toodled along on Sunday morning bright and early to feast our eyes on the cars, campervans, motorbikes and scooters with the cool dudes of Perpignan.
There were at least 200 cars there and a selection of ancient motobikes also. Well worth the visit if you are into your classic cars...

How much is that doggie in the window?

Trop cool!

I want I want I want

Zoé has picked out hers

For more details click here