Monday, March 29, 2010

Having a baby in France

The last post reminded me of a funny document I received from my gyno on my first visit to him when discovering I was pregnant. I've dug out the "conseils pour la grossesse" so you can compare with your own doctor. Apart from all the usual advice - here's some unusual ones:

You think for the first time in your life that it is okay to get fat and you can eat what you want?! Ma chérie, we are en france , the answer is non:
  • Replace all sugar with canderel products.
  • Honey, nougat, biscuits, bonbons, chocolate bars, icecream are forbidden
  • You can have a dessert on a Sunday but only a "demi-portion" (half a portion)
  • Fruit ( with sugar ) is not allowed
  • Fruit juices and fizzy drinks are off the menu
  • Do not eat for two.
  • Do not drink for two , although a few glasses of wine is ok.
  • Do not put on more than 10 kilos ( so what happens if you put on more, are you supposed to go on a diet? I asked my doc. The answer ? Oui! )
Never ever wear trousers. You must wear skirts at all times.

Do not change sexual partners during your pregnancy ("Do people have sex when they're pregnant?!" I wondered). This rule applies to the father also!
(A free test is allowed for the father to ensure he does not have any infectious diseases as picked up from other partners!)

Do not wear knickers

If you feel hungry, replace food with sex ( with the father of the child , see above). This will help you not to put on too much weight. Not surprisingly, pregnancy in France is called "La Grossesse" : The Fatness!!!

So , as you can see, my gyno , along with everyone else in France is obsessed with weight and sex!

As we say very often here in France, you just could not make it up!


  1. Our youngest was conceived and born in France. The two foods expressly excluded by the gynocologist were not raw milk products and pâté but lettuce and strawberries on the grounds that these could not be washed completely clean and harbour toxioplasmosis.

  2. I've posted this on my blog with a link to you, excellent post.


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